Testimony of a Mother With a Disability

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I thought I would start my first writings here letting everyone in on who exactly I am. I so appreciate Pastor John allowing me to write on his site. I pray that who ever reads this sees how loving God is. That if He can do for me, He can do even more for you!

Testimony of a Mother With a Disability

How did I get here? Where did all this begin that shaped me into who I am today? As I look back I see clearly how God had His hand in it all. Mine is a testimony of a mother with a disability.

Where it all started

I was born the decade after the 60s. When love and free sex was all the rage but people seemed to be calming down a bit. As God put a yearning in us for that spiritual connection people were experimenting with many forms to fill that void. My family was not much different from all that.
I truly believe that God chose certain people to be His children long before we were ever born. He knows all, sees all, and no matter what we do, His plan always works itself out.
Even in my young years I felt I needed God, and not the gods that were worshipped in society I was brought up in.

Revelation 14 New Living Translation (NLT)
The Lamb and the 144,000
14 Then I saw the Lamb standing on Mount Zion, and with him were 144,000 who had his name and his Father’s name written on their foreheads. 2 And I heard a sound from heaven like the roar of mighty ocean waves or the rolling of loud thunder. It was like the sound of many harpists playing together.
3 This great choir sang a wonderful new song in front of the throne of God and before the four living beings and the twenty-four elders. No one could learn this song except the 144,000 who had been redeemed from the earth. 4 They have kept themselves as pure as virgins,[a] following the Lamb wherever he goes. They have been purchased from among the people on the earth as a special offering[b] to God and to the Lamb. 5 They have told no lies; they are without blame.

I am not trying to say I am special, by far I am not. We really do not know who God chose before the creation of the world. We could see murderers, rapist, people we consider the worst of society in heaven because they believed in their hearts Christ is Lord. With the decisions I made in life, I am not worthy to be in heaven.

Testimony of a Mother With a Disability
Testimony of a mother with a disability

Me at about 2 years old wearing a dress my mother made

I cannot blame all the problems I lived through on my upbringing. My parents loved me, they just did the best they could with what they knew. I am a sexual abuse survivor, was bullied in school as many were, and probably had a form of high functioning autism.

All this left me yearning to be included to have friends but not really sure how to do it. I felt empty inside with this constant low level of sadness and worthlessness all the time.  I knew there had to be more, something that nothing around me could quench but I could not put it into words.

This yearning and longing to be included led me to a friend that had a very loving family. They welcomed me into their home, had me over for meals. It seemed to be everything I wanted, they prayed and talked about God and had family meetings every week. They invited me to go to church with them.

By this time I was about 9 years old. My parents being atheists did not instruct me in the spiritual sense of things. This family were Mormons.
I went to church with them, I felt included and that God void I thought was being quenched. The church sent Elders to my home to teach me about their religion. My mom allowed us to explore the spiritual any way we wanted to.

She welcomed the Elders in. I felt special, loved, included. Finally someone who paid special attention to me. Someone to teach me about God.
All their words were right, “Pray about it, read the Book of Mormon God will tell your heart that it is true.” “Yes we believe in the Bible as long as it is translated right.” (King James Version). But, rarely in my experience in the Mormon church did I hear them refer to the Bible. Maybe a verse here and there pulled out of context. It was all about The Book of Mormon, Pearl of Great Price, and The Doctrine and Covenants.

Testimony of a Mother With a Disability

These experiences of abuse and with the Mormon church helped shape me to who God needs me to be. This is not my full testimony, God was involved even way back then. The abuse only happened 4 times and was not as bad as some have lived through. Even in the Mormon Church I learned there is a God who loves me no matter what, that others can love me too.

The mother He gave me, she is a strong loving mother. When she found out about the abuse she made sure authorities knew and things were taken care. He gave me parents who were willing to be there for me no matter what. So, even though they did not believe and I did not know how to believe God was there in it all.

Next week……
I will write about how God helped me through my terrible teen years when hormones and the possible autism hit full on. How God showed up even then. Please come back to read more. Please, if you feel called to, do not forget to share this post so God can reach more of His people.

Outside Sources
Symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome: Know the Signs
TO THOSE WHO ARE INVESTIGATING “MORMONISM”

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2 comments

  1. Thank you for the comment. I am just doing the work God put in front of me. I do it joyfully because I know He gets the glory through it and others can see Him as He worked through the decisions I and others have made in my life. To know that they are not alone.

  2. Dear Katiedash
    I am looking forward to the next part of your story as I certainly enjoyed your introduction. I relate to parts of it already. Thank you for your courage, candor and obedience to God. It takes a lot to reach out as you have.
    Thank you and God Bless You
    Jill

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