“Smiles”, from the book “Over the Hill and on a Roll” by Bob Phillips
over the hill and on a roll
“I don’t feel 80. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then its time for my nap.” – Bob Hope
“When you’re young, you just want to set the world on fire. Then you get older, and you just want to live close to the fire department.”
“Why is it at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?”
“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” – Mark Twain
“The Awkward age is when you are too old for the peace corps and too young for Social Security.”
“Onc couple lived together for sixty years without an argument. The secret? They shared the same hearing aid.”
“When a man has a birthday, he may take the day off. When a woman has a birthday, she may take as much as five years off.”
“I’ve found the secret of youth. I lie about my age.” – Bob Hope
and one last one:
“A sure sign of old age is when you feel your corns more than your oats.”
“Dedicated to the honor and memory of my late brother-in-law, Dan, who was a great man with a great sense of humor.”
More tickling for the funny bone. You know you are over the hill when …
You’re over the hill when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you’re not wearing any.
power and authority are just winging it. You’re over the hill when you realize how many people in
You’re over the hill when you think all your friends are showing their age, and you’re not.
You’re over the hill when styles come back for the second time and you still have some left from the first time.
Senior Moment! – “I’ll Carry Your Books!” (or “Book it, Pastor!”)
Yesterday I took my wife to the library, where she tutors in math. Being the efficient lady she is, and wanting to keep her Mama with plenty of good books to read, checked out some books for that purpose. She asked if I would take them on out to the car. That way she could go ahead and get ready for tutoring.
I had already planned to do that, so I took the books and went out to the car. So far so good. I opened the back door, then saw something I needed to take care of. With one hand, I moved things where they belonged and went back into the library. No problem. Mission accomplished! (Do you see where this is going?)
I got about halfway back to where Karen was set up and I looked in my hand. I just shook my head and thought, “why did I bring those in here?” I still had the bag of books in my hand, and I didn’t even know it! (And they were heavy too.) Good people, I do this all the time! I know I’m not alone in this, and that gives this senior a good deal of comfort.