A little humor to brighten your day – “Get in Shape” (senior style)

(a selection of quotes from “Over the Hill and On a Roll” by Bob Phillips. See if you can relate to any of these – I know I can!)

Get in shape

child laughing

  • “As you grow older, you will find it takes just about half as long to get tired and twice as long to get rested. The iron in your blood has turned to lead in the seat of your pants.”
  • “Show me a man with his head held high, and I will show you a man who is having trouble adjusting his bifocals.”
  • “They say that life begins at 4o – but so does lumbago, bad eyesight, arthritis, and the habit of telling the same story three times to the same person.” 
  • “I’ve got to the age when I need my false teeth and my hearing aid before I can ask where I’ve left my glasses.” (Now that’s pretty bad!)
  • “My doctor said I look like a million dollars – green and wrinkled.”
  • “It’s hard to feel fit as a fiddle when you’re shaped like a cello.” 
  • “If you’re pushing 50, that’s exercise enough.” (That would never do for Keisha, our fearless leader in the senior exercise class! 
  • “She had her face lifted, but it turned out there was one just like it underneath.”
  • “You know you’re an adult when you’ve ceased to grow vertically, but not horizontally.” 
  • (and finally) “I know she’s got her own teeth. I was with her when she bought them.”
  • Remember, kind readers, that you are dearly loved as you are in body, mind, and soul. I’m sure God laughs at the funny stuff we do sometimes as seniors.

God bless you all and give you lots of laughter!

(This post is dedicated to the honor and memory of my late brother-in-law, Dan, who was a gentle soul and who had a great sense of humor.)

 

 

 

over the hill and on a roll

“Smiles”, from the book “Over the Hill and on a Rollby Bob Phillips

over the hill and on a roll

                                           over the hill and on a roll


“I don’t feel 80. In fact, I don’t feel anything until noon. Then its time for my nap.” – Bob Hope

“When you’re young, you just want to set the world on fire. Then you get older, and you just want to live close to the fire department.”

“Why is it at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?”

“The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.” – Mark Twain

“The Awkward age is when you are too old for the peace corps and too young for Social Security.”

“Onc couple lived together for sixty years without an argument. The secret? They shared the same hearing aid.”

“When a man has a birthday, he may take the day off. When a woman has a birthday, she may take as much as five years off.”

“I’ve found the secret of youth. I lie about my age.” – Bob Hope

and one last one:

“A sure sign of old age is when you feel your corns more than your oats.”

“Dedicated to the honor and memory of my late brother-in-law, Dan, who was a great man with a great sense of humor.”

“You Know You’re About to Become a Senior Citizen When …” a little humor! This bit of humor comes to us from the book “The Treasury of Clean Seniors’ Jokes” by Tal D. Bonham and Jack Gulledge. This book is in honor of my family, especially my sisters, and in memory of my late brother-in-law, Dan, who was a kind man with a great sense of humor. 

a senior citizen
“You know you’re about to become a senior citizen when … 

  • The grandkids come home and tell you about what they learned in history, and you remember studying about the same subjects in current events class.
  • You decide procrastination is the best approach to life but you never get around to it.
  • You walk with your head held high because you are trying to get used to your bifocals.
  • You look forward to a dull evening.
  • Your knees buckle but your belt won’t. 
  • Burning the midnight oil means staying up past 9 P.M.
  • Your back goes out more than you do.
  • You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
  • You bend over to tie your shoes and look around to see if there’s something else you can do while you are down there.
  • You sit in a rocking chair and you can’t get it going.  

Get in shape

More tickling for the funny bone. You know you are over the hill when …

You’re over the hill when you try to straighten out the wrinkles in your socks and discover you’re not wearing any.

power and authority are just winging it. You’re over the hill when you realize how many people in

You’re over the hill when you think all your friends are showing their age, and you’re not. 

You’re over the hill when styles come back for the second time and you still have some left from the first time. 

Get in shape

When you’re over the hill, here’s how you will know!

You’re over the hill when Your feet hurt before you get out of bed.

You’re over the hill when the rock stars you used to idolize are not potbellied and grey.

You’re over the hill when your grey hair isn’t premature.

(These nuggets of humor come to us from the book by Bob Phillips entitled “Over the Hill and On a Roll”, sent to me by my sister, Susan, who got it from my sister, Linda. The book belonged to her late husband, Dan, who had a great sense of humor and loved to laugh. This also begins a series of funny moments and memories and can be found in a new category on the right-hand side of the page entitled “funny bone”.)

Tags: #funny bone, #humor, #over the hill
New category – funny bone

Who do I want to be like when I grow up?

Who do I want to be like when I grow up? I want to be like Miss Doris.

This week I was blessed to be able to sing for the senior luncheon at a local church. It was about a month ago that I got a call from Miss Doris, the lady who plans the programs and gets people to come to speak or entertain. 

Who do I want to be like when I grow up?

Miss Doris is living out the tagline of this website- still producing fruit in old age. “How old”, you may ask? Miss Doris is 94 years old! Clearly, she was in charge that day. She was sharp as a tack. Yes, she was in a wheelchair and kept repeating herself about where she lived, but she was still in the zone. She has been getting people to come to the luncheons to entertain since 2003. I want to be that capable and spirited at 94 years old. 

Who do I want to be like when I grow up?

I also want to be like Miss Hetti, who is 95 and still drives to work out at the senior center!

May God grant us the grace to stay as strong and vibrant as possible for as long as possible, because with God all things are possible!